It breaks my heart ✍️
Our son Bart is probably the sweetest of the whole family. He is extremely thoughtful and attentive. He'll open the door when someone is behind him, let people know they dropped something, replaces toilet paper (although incorrectly),...
But he has another side as well. He has some restlessness inside him, making it impossible to stay seated or to remain focused. And often, things have to go his way.
He was diagnosed with ASS & ADD almost 2 years ago. We had some assumptions, but didn't go for a test until issues in kindergarten came up. After the diagnosis and with help, we managed to overcome them; many were linked to predictability. Knowing which activities he could do, being the first in line,...
Everything settled back to normal, and even the transition to the first grade, with a lot of chores, many activities and a lot of learning, went fairly smoothly. Looking back, we had a great teacher to thank, who put in a lot of effort in managing him, as well as keeping an open line of communication with us.
However, now everything seems to fall apart.
His new teachers are losing grip on him. They are not trained to cope with neurodiversity, thanks to the great Belgian school system. They are out of tricks. His school work is dropping, and so is his learning. He's doing different tasks and often spends time outside of the classroom.
Every day, we have a crisis after school. And perhaps another at dinner.
Our family is on high alert.
I know a lot comes down to managing his behaviour, environment and situations, but it's hard.
It breaks my heart that our family is struggling, yet we can't get proper help because all support centres are fully booked until...
It breaks my heart that the school is not putting in more effort to accommodate his needs, getting in specific help, and rather push all responsibilities to us and medication.
It breaks my heart seeing him lag behind, while he does have all the intellectual capacities.
And what truly breaks my heart is that we sometimes lose sight of that sweet boy that he is.
Everything is trial and error. Talking with other people helps.
It's a journey we have to go through, but it's a hard one.
As a parent, I feel myself failing. Why don't we have all the answers? Why can't we fix everything?
We don’t have all the answers or fixes yet.
But we’ll find them.
One step, one meltdown, one small victory at a time.
In the meantime, I'll be there for you, my son, no matter how hard it is. Even when it breaks my heart.
Thanks for taking the time to read this!
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