The double-edged sword of social happiness ✍️
I recently read an article in a Belgian newspaper, where they did an experiment, leaving 15 wallets behind in a Belgian city, seeing how many were returned. Each wallet had some contact details as well as some cash. At first, the reported was quite pessimistic, thinking less than half would return. But in the end, 11 returned with all money, 1 without, and only 3 were lost.
The whole experiment was about happiness. About the feeling of getting something returned, and how others feel when doing acts of kindness for someone else. Too often, happiness gets attached to only wealth and status, however, there is much more to it, qnd social happiness is definitely one of them.
Doing something for others makes you happy. I experienced it the other day when an older man was struggling with his shopping cart. I helped him, after which he rewarded me with a smile that in turn got me smiling as well. Some time later, I still had that experience in my mind.
Social happiness is important, and it can be as easy as talking to or helping a stranger.
And the other hand, social happiness is about the relationships we have, and how we manage them. And this is where it gets tricky in my opinion/case. Especially when growing older and our constant online behaviour.
It's like Jedda mentioned in her recent article of how difficult it it is as an adult on making new friends. I feel the same thing.
Corona made me work from home. I've now moved back in a hybrid solution, coming to the office a few days a week. But meanwhile our team changed completely. Most of my colleagues are now located abroad. Budget cuts block us from having physical meetings, so the only interactions we can have are online meetings, chats, mails and communities. A younger colleague says this is perfectly fine, but I disagree and feel the team disconnect.
I still have a lot of interactions. At sports, afterschool activities of the boys,... And with my regular bunch of friends.
But while I have all these interactions, I feel more effort is needed. Life gets in the way. People relocate. Available time gets reduced by family responsibilities. And all of a sudden you're planning the next interactions. Or you set reminders to reconnect or follow up, since the last meetup was some time ago.
And also here, you have all the online platforms to (re)connect, but they don't feel real to me. Online tools can be supportive but by no means can replace the real deal. Maybe it's because I'm older and knew a time where all connections were only offline.
Social happiness is part of having a fulfilling life, but grower older appears to require more effort.
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